Van Cover goes to despatch measures to get story.

Vancover.co.uk is a van-themed cheap van insuring website we admit. Predominantly required to talk either cheap van insuring guff, or about cheap to insure vans. A simplistic cheap van insuring blueprint. Sometimes, Vancover.co.uk may go off on a cheap van insuring one, but, Vancover.co.uk you can rely on, as cheap van insurance is cheap van insurance, to bring it back. Return to the subject of cheap van insurance. Because cheap van insurance is what makes Vancover.co.uk what it is, what Vancover.co.uk stands for. In the sea of supposedly cheap van insurance, time after time, Vancover.co.uk will deliver the real cheap van insuring thing. One of Vancover.co.uk's men of words now goes off on a cheap van insuring one..

Noel Edmonds was great once. Right up until he started messing round with crinkly bottoms and pink inflatable dolls. A collection of words that would condemn many a lesser man to a long term. Not content with opening (and then closing shortly afterwards) a monumentally crap theme park in some obsolete northern coastal location, the bearded-wonder is now back out of (forced) retirement. Back in the big time. Firstly we saw him fronting Channel 4's 'no-other-c-list-presenter-wanted-the-gig' quiz-fest entitled 'Deal or no deal'; and recently, the one-time-boat-entertaining Sarah Greene stalker is haranguing the unwary into buying one of his QPods. For the love of money. Edmonds , 107 is the chairman of the Unique Motor Company, hastily formed sometime after the Uniquely Naff Theme Parks Company collapsed, who specialise in importing motorised buggies called QPod's into the UK , of which he then sells on the distribution rights of, to misrepresented dealers across the land.

A car enthusiast, and ex-presenter of BBC motoring stalwart Top Gear (when no one, other than the film crew watched it) offered envelopes stuffed with spondulies for the company after seeing one of the distinctive vehicles near his ranch of deviancy in Devon.

After a few minor hiccups, which saw many of his 'sales team' become a little vexed with the fact nobody sane wanted to swap their hard earned cash (£5k) for the Fisher-Price run-around; and that chopper-riding Edmond's was milking his distributors for any profit enjoyed by a random sale; the joint venture has gone from weakness to something a little less weak of late, culminating in this weeks logic-defying news that a London courier company has parted with wonga (and any street cred) for a fleet of the ungainly-looking buggers. Premier Despatch has launched a posse of eco-friendly QPod vehicles in light of the extensive coverage anything green seems to attract these days. For what other reason Vancover.co.uk are at odds to explain.

The strangely bubble-shaped vehicles achieve 60mpg. They can nudge 45 miles per hour full whack and their miniscule 350cc engines emit only 80.7gm/km CO2.

"They're the most ingenious dispatch vehicle I've seen in over a decade" fawned the multi-million pound company's chairman/founder and, ultimately, decision maker Kevin Jenkins. And life-long Sinclair C5 fan I should imagine. "These vehicles are a must for somewhere like London as they are environmentally friendly" he harrumphed. Unfazed by Vancover.co.uk's gently girding he continued; "They are just great fun and avoid the emissions that suffocate the city with pollution." Yep. So does taking the tube.

Vaunted as safer than a quad bike (which lets face facts - can't be difficult) due to their full roll cage, the fully automatic vehicles are shoddily pieced together in France from Peugeot components and a Lombardini engine by a company trading under the name of SECMA..

The QPOd is equally as adept (and embarrassing) off road as it is on. The vehicles are steered, unlike a conventional buggy, by handle bars rather than wheels

Applauded for their ease of drive and manoeuvrability, making them ideal transportation to weave in and out of heavy London traffic, they benefit from a fully automatic transmission, a twist throttle and a traditional brake pedal. So even the most inexperienced of couriers can't make any more of an ass of him/herself.

Jenkins hopes and believes that the QPod will "Put a smile on a lot of people's faces when they see it at work delivering parcels". Granted Mr. J, Vancover.co.uk agree that in principal QPod will put a great, big smile on peoples faces, that much is true.

And in the light entertaining words of Saturday morning's antidote for anal congestion - Gotcha! Is rather an apt way to conclude business say Vancover.co.uk.

Vancover.co.uk concludes a great deal of cheap van insuring business. Unlike rat-fan Edmonds , Vancover.co.uk are here to last the cheap van insuring course. As they say around here - there's no business like cheap van insuring business folks!

Date - 21/09/2006